Date With Intention - What It Means & Why You Should Do It
As a dating coach, I see many clients confused about why they haven’t progressed with the people they’ve been dating.
Whether they’re on the apps or meeting in person, their dating life tends to feel like they’ve stumbled upon a wild ride they didn’t sign up for and it ends in frustration.
If this is you, it could be because you’re not dating with intention!
It’s not enough to simply know somewhere inside of you that you want a long-lasting, family-oriented (if that’s your thing) partnership. You have to LEAD with that. Your actions & decisions surrounding dating should project your goal of finding love that’s real and sustainable.
What is dating with intention? Are you doing it, or not? Here are some questions you can ask yourself to help you figure it out.
What type of relationship do you want to be in? When you’re meeting new people who you could be interested in, or they could be interested in you, are they displaying characteristics of someone who you’d WANT to be in that relationship with? Ie, do they seem trustworthy, is communication good, are they kind & attentive?
When you talk about your future, how do they react? Are they at ease and contributing to the conversation? (green flag!) Do they seem freaked out and avoidant? (red flag!) Are they overly excited to the point where it feels a bit delusional? (double red flag!)
Are your date nights thought out and well-planned? Are they always last minute, or late at night? Does the other person stick to commitments or flake out at the last second?
Does it seem to be PROGRESSING? Are you sharing more with each other? Becoming more vulnerable? Expressing your feelings? Are your dates becoming longer hangs? Are they excited for you to meet their friends and (eventually) family?
Be observant. If the connection isn’t moving forward, it’s your responsibility to say, “Thanks, but… no thanks!” and move on to different possibilities. This might seem harsh, but your time is precious! There are too many people out there who- even if they’re lovely- have no clue what they want for their future, or know what they want but aren’t ready for it. Don’t get dragged along on their ride.
There’s nothing wrong with where they’re at, but if that’s not you then you do not need to spend your time helping them “figure it out.”
The sooner you can recognize these patterns and put an end to dead-end relationships, the sooner you can meet someone who is ready for the same kind of life you’re ready for… and you can breathe deep and let them in.
