Want To Get Approached More IRL? Do This!
There’s something ironic about the predicament we’re facing with modern dating. Although women have endured decades of unwanted attention, now that getting approached in-person is a thing of the past, let’s be honest- we miss it!
I’m not talking about cat calling, creepy pick up lines, or having your friends night out crashed by a drunkard. I’m talking about a welcomed, “Hello!” from the person you’ve been eyeing for the last hour.
So, what can you do to go from quick glances to an introduction? If you’re not the approaching type, there’s still ways you can make yourself more approachable. Here’s how:
A natural instinct when you see someone you find attractive is to pretend like you don’t find them attractive, in order to preserve your composure and keep your self-esteem intact.
“Who? You? Oh, I didn’t even notice because I’m just over here living my best life!” You immediately bury your head in your phone because of course, you’re SUPER busy. And before you know it, the next time you tear your eyes away from your iPhone- they’re gone!
Don’t do that. Put the phone away. Don’t come off as if someone approaching would be bothersome, or interrupting something important. Stand tall and be in the moment.
Okay, maybe it’s a little cute when you keep catching eye with someone, and then both of you look away shyly. It’s cute, but there’s an expiration date on this type of interaction and it’s about 2 minutes.
If you catch eyes with someone you find attractive, I challenge you not to look away. In fact, look them straight in the eye, and smile! Approaching someone in person is scary- nobody wants to be rejected. By maintaining eye contact with someone and smiling, you’re giving them hope that if they were to approach you, that approach would be welcomed and not unwanted.
Give them a wave. Why not? Again, the more obvious you make it that you’d be interested in an introduction, the more likely they are to take the bait.
A wave is a way of calling yourself- and the other person- out for being silly, aka too shy to initiate a conversation. A little gesture is a language all of its own.
The adverse is also true. If you’re not in a state where you do not wish to be approached, then do the opposite of the above.
And, if someone read the signals wrong and you’re not interested in talking to the person who approached you, as long as their being respectful, don’t be afraid to kindly tell them that you’re not in the mood for a chat.
